Brave survivor of domestic abuse shares story

Here, we share a fuller version of the story of the brave Warwickshire woman who features in our video interview on her experience of domestic abuse. Her testimony saw her abuser jailed for years. She is focused on re-building her life with the support of her family, friends and specialist services. She has spoken out in the hope that others will also feel able to get help.

We know it is distressing to read. But we hope it carries with it a message of hope.

If you are being subjected to domestic abuse, we can help.  Call 999 in an emergency, and see other ways to report and sources of support on our website: Advice and support | Warwickshire Police.

“Over time, I became used to managing the pain that was being inflicted on me. I became numb, I can’t tell you what I focussed on because everything became nothing…”

When she first met her partner, he seemed caring and attentive, but his behaviour became more and more controlling, eventually escalating to some of the worst abuse officers had seen.

The perpetrator’s physical attacks were so severe that the survivor still bears scars. He isolated the survivor from her family and subjected her to abuse that the survivor described as ‘torture’ in her victim statement.

Isolated and in fear, she survived this treatment for two years before she was able to seek help. Through the abuse, the perpetrator would call the survivor his ‘Queen’ and threaten to take his own life if she didn’t do what he wanted. This type of behaviour is typical in perpetrators of domestic abuse.

“People who haven’t been through domestic abuse often ask, ‘why didn’t you just go to the police earlier.'

“Until you’re in that situation you just can’t understand. He completely broke me mentally and I was a shell. I felt too ashamed to seek help.

“He would either deny the abuse or he would convince me that it was my fault for not ‘doing as I was told.’  

“He told me that if I ever reported him he’d hurt my family and my dog. He was so violent with me that I absolutely believed he would carry out his threats.”

The survivor was incredibly apprehensive when she first spoke with us, but she spoke of the relief that came when officers and support services came in to arrest the perpetrator and to safeguard her and her family.

“Somewhere inside I took the last ounce of strength that I had. By that point I think I’d given up for myself, but I was thinking about my children and my dog.

“I’m forever grateful for the support of my advocate, my son and the police – who made sure I was safe and supported.”

If you are being subjected to domestic abuse, we can help.  Call 999 in an emergency, and see other ways to report and sources of support on our website: Advice and support | Warwickshire Police. Also see what else we’re doing with partners in Warwickshire to try and tackle violence against women and girls: Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG) | Warwickshire Police

Issued: AG, Corporate Communications